Panic!

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April 08, 2006

Overwhelming Anxiety Symptoms

It was thirteen months ago that I was a little hungover on an emotional day and BAM ... I found myself feeling as though I'd been sucked from reality and couldn't feel my feet or hands. Panic, though I did not know this at the time, had sneaked up on me and manifested itself with the most alarming intensity.

I attributed it to the alcohol and the fact that my brother and his family were emigrating and anticipated feeling better the next day. When the symptoms persisted for days/weeks/months it was time to face up to the fact that I'd become one of the many sufferers of panic disorder.

I have had an on/off hellish relationship with anxiety over the last year but I have researched and researched and got through some very bad times without harm. I am an aspiring journalist and find writing incredibly therapeutic - just as I found reading and learning everything there is to know about anxiety comforting and helpful.

Recently I have undergone a thoroughly uncomfortable relapse but am finally starting to believe that people CAN manage their fear of the fear.

I'm so glad I found this website as I really believe that sharing and communicating your worries is the best way of understanding them in order to address them. If, like me, you have suffered from the symptoms mentioned below I would love to hear from you as I hope I could help you make the right moves in understanding and dealing with your problems. It was only this morning that I underwent an hour of almost crippling blind fear but I am learning that I have the resources inside me to soldier on. It is a horrible conditon; terrifying, traumatising!! But it is treatable. Feel free to ask me about any of these symptoms:

- Depersonalization; feeling like you are not you. You're detached and start to question how your body is still working though you are convinced you are out of control and losing your mind.

- Obsessing about going blind, transpiring into being convinced of imminent blindness.

- Numb sensations in legs, worrying about becoming paralysed.

- Numb and tingly headaches, feeling like there's a numb hole in one part of the skull.

- Suddenly becoming aware of breathing and worrying that it might stop.

When I started to understand that my symptoms were ways of my brain telling me to address my true feelings I started to not trust my own thoughts!! At which point my symptoms worsened:

- Attempting to control my subconscioius and subsequently freaking myself out that you can't gauge your natural reflexes.

- Worrying about what will replace the anxiety as it had become part of me and having worrying feelings of never feeling normal again.

- (THIS WAS THE WORST) Constantly testing myself and winding myself up so much so that I focused on a nonexistent timbre in my ears until it became a month of full blown ringing in my head.

You may wonder why I would wind myself up, but when you are in the throws of panic it is so overwhelming that you can't help but question and over analyse. When I learned that our subconscious can involuntarily put your body through so much I started to wonder what else it could do!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Lizzie Ross on April 8, 2006 05:36 AM

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Hello Lizzie,

I just randomly found your post and wow... I know exactly how you feel.

For the past year I have been completely fine, I have managed to get my anxiety under control on my own, but early last year it was so bad. I'd go to sleep with Depersonalization and wake up feeling exactly the same. I felt like, as you said, I would never be normal again, that I would always live in this state of panic. I had strange worries going through my mind such as 'omg I have Schizophrenia' or ' I have a brain tumor'. When I look back on it it seems like I also had symptoms of hydrochondria.

Honestly, it is such a horrible thing to go through and it is difficult to explain to friends and family because the terms anxious and panic are used so often these days.

I am 23 year old also currently living in London so I guess you aren't alone!!

I wish you all the best. Be strong!



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